OH MY GOD WHAT A LOAD OF S##T SKEGNESS BUTLINS IS!!!
We visited Skegness Butlins in 2007 and it is the filthiest place I’ve ever been, it’s too expensive and poorly organised. My youngest son (11 years of age) actually cried at the end of our terrible first and last day trip to Butlins Skegness, he has never cried before from a day trip (any trip)!
We’ve been to some doosies in our time, but we always managed to have a good time at some point in the day at other disappointing attractions (usually boring museums) we didn’t even get a small amount of fun at Butlins Skegness.
Butlins Day Pass Review
Fortunately we only went on a day trip to Butlins, I feel so sorry for the people who go on a long weekend or week plus holiday and spend hundreds of their hard earned pounds for a family holiday to remember at the Butlins holiday camp, I can only imagine the horrors they experience at this dive of a resort!
Visiting Butlins Skegness was like being transported back to the 70s – 80s to a time when poor people had little choice but to go to cheap holiday resorts like Skegness Butlins and put up with the awful conditions!
Now even working class families can afford to go abroad, have a top quality holiday on The Costa Del Sol or equivalent for the same cost as a family holiday at Butlins. Holiday makers expect more for their money, demanding higher standards. Butlins has failed miserably to keep up with what quality holiday makers demand.
Skegness Butlins does not deliver anywhere close to high standards, it comes across with the attitude of “your poor so stop your moaning and put up with it you chav”. Butlins in this day and age should be a top quality experience for all, with the millions Skegness Butlins alone makes from peoples hard earned cash you should expect the toilets to be at least clean! It’s madness for Butlins not deliver what holiday makers demand from a vacation these days.
Butlins Holiday Brochure
We visited Butlins Skegness about two weeks before the school holidays for a day trip, our family had been living in Skegness for 2 years and just hadn’t had the time to go, but the kids had always wanted to. So we picked up a Butlins holiday brochure where we saw exciting family events, shows and games and thought lets have a great day out at Butlins. The brochure implied state of the art this and magical experience that, so we at least expected the day out to cheer us up.
The DAMN LIARS!, point blank load of bollocks, there was none of that for me and two of my sons when we went on our day trip to Butlins!
Skegness Butlins Postcode: Need a Map
There wasn’t any sign posts so you didn’t know where you were going half the time, you just have a vague dot on your brochure of roughly where you are looking for should be. When you go to an attraction for a day trip you don’t have the time for messing around especially since you’ve just spent 30-40 minutes walking to get into Butlins in the 1st place. We had to open doors indiscriminately to find out what they where!
We missed so much, my youngest wanted to do a music work shop, we could hear them, but couldn’t find it or a member of staff. The Butlins brochure doesn’t give you times when events will be on, where they are on etc… I’m not even sure if as a day visitor you are allowed to stay past 6pm which means any family shows later on in the evening you don’t have a chance to see.
I got the impression Butlins is all smoke and mirrors, luring you into the place offering you a great time filled with wonders and treasured family memories, but as soon as you pay your money you know you’ve been had and have entered an hellish environment filled with disappointment and filth.
Butlins Day Trippers Not Valued!
I should have realised from the off set with the way we were treated as day visitors at the main gate. We got off the bus from Skegness at the stop closest to the main gates and as we approached was told the main gate is for “resort guests only” and that “our” entrance was on the other side of the road a full 40 minutes walk away towards Ingoldmells only to come back again through an underground tunnel to end up roughly at the same entrance!!! There isn’t even a path on that side of the road or any safe crossings over a busy main road!
With children this is not acceptable, my money as a day visitor is as good as someone who is holidaying at Butlins for a weekend or more. Why on Earth they couldn’t have just had a double sided office for day visitors and holiday makers, instead of having day visitors have to walk huge distances to get to the main attractions area? It’s madness!
Butlins Fair Ground Old and Decrepit!
Since we had missed the music workshop we decided to go to the Butlins fair ground. The rides are nothing but bucket and bolts and the only laughter you can hear is sarcastic cackles from the riders commenting how rubbish it is. I guess they had the same ethos as us, if you don’t laugh you’ll cry. They are so crap, I’ve seen better rides from traveling fairs than what Butlins Skegness has to offer!
One ride looked and sounded like it was about to fall apart, I was concerned for my children’s safety, if they hadn’t of bolted ahead of me I wouldn’t have allowed them to go on it.
The biggest joke of all on Butlins Skegness rides had to be the dodgems. Butlins dodgems are the most uncomfortable old pieces of s##t I’ve ever rode in! You could actually feel the floor bumping below, think a car with zero suspension, as you trundled along and I do mean trundled the floor was so pitted and had humps on it even though it’s meant to be flat it was awful! The ride lasted half a song even though there was no queue!
The most irritating thing was you wasn’t even allowed to bump, WHAT! isn’t that the fun of dodgems (AKA bumper cars) is to bump into each other? All you could hear all the way through was Butlins staff yelling “No bumping please” even when no one was bumping they were that strict about the rule. Perhaps the reason we couldn’t bump was because if we did the bloody bumper cars would fall apart, they were that old.
Butlins Adventure Playground
The adventure play ground wasn’t any better, I knew before we got there that the adventure playground at Butlins was free, but because of the lack of signs there were parents wandering at the gates saying “is this free, are we aloud to go in?”
The adventure play ground in it’s self isn’t too bad for the kids, but for adults it’s a nightmare, there is no manoeuvring room at all in the parents waiting area or should I say cattle pen! Adults are corralled into a confined space, cramped together virtually on top of one another! I had a huge problem in this tight space, I suffer from severe asthma and other parents were smoking in the play area! Normally I’d move away from inconsiderate smokers, but I couldn’t get away from the smoke in the small space, so I had to join my sons on the play equipment, but it was a little tight in some areas for adults so we had to leave.
As a day visitor to Butlins we decided to take our own sandwiches, big mistake. We couldn’t find any designated areas to eat our food, we wasted 20+ minutes trying to find somewhere to eat, we ended up eating our sandwiches on a bench in the middle of the resort. It wasn’t until we were leaving that I spotted the picnic tables right next to the visitors entrance on the other side of the Butlins resort, a welcoming mile walk from the centre of Butlins!
They really do value us day trippers, Butlins is the 1st place I’ve been to that as a day visitor your money is not wanted and they blatantly don’t mind you knowing that your not important and try to sweep you under the carpet so to speak.
Disgusting Butlins Toilets
Don’t ever go to the toilet at Butlins, I rounded the corner to the toilet and gasped!!! I hadn’t seen a toilet this bad since I last went to a public toilets in the 80’s, (remember how bad some used to be) the floor looked as though it had been cleaned with mud, the funny thing is I passed the cleaner on my way in.
The toilet was dank and dark with broken taps, dirty soap dispensers and so much lime scale on the taps if you scrapped it off you could make a small island! With scummy toilets and broken locks it was disgusting, it made my stomach churn.
Shaking off the toilets from my mind we tried to have a go at soft javelin, but it wasn’t a family activity! It was divided up into time slots for particular ages and the session that was on was for 5-8 year olds, so my sons (age 11 and 15 years) couldn’t have a go. I did notice a theme at Butlins, little kids are well catered for with more sessions, activities and shows in the main dome being aimed at very small children. If your child is not into Pingu anymore, tough luck, they are thrown into the expensive mayhem with the rest of us.
Butlins Swimming Pool
At this point we rolled up our sleeves determined not to be defeated, never before had we failed to have some fun at an attraction, we marched off to the swimming pool to see if the day could get better with a swim. When we entered the door to Butlins swimming pool we stepped into a new modern looking reception area clean and roomy. Looking at the turn styles nervously we were ushered through by smiling Butlins staff telling us not to worry it was all free.
We glided to the two door swimming pool changing rooms with a sigh of relief, could our day trip to Butlins be getting better?
It certainly looked that way with the clean and modern changing room, we got changed eager to get into the swimming pool and finally have some fun. I opened the door on the other side and OH MY GOD, right in front of us were old battered lockers with bangs and dents in the doors, another dirty floor with a gutter running through the middle. It looked like a changing room you might find in a prison, but dirtier! We quickly rushed through the changing room to the swimming pool afraid we might catch something!
The swimming pool is modern with lots going on, kiddies pools with slides, wave machines and sprinklers there’s even a cave with a Jacuzzi affect pool. Don’t look too closely though, all over the swimming pool was thick lime scale between the tiles, they obviously don’t clean it very well.
There was so much chlorine in the water that it dyed my sons trunks severely, he went in with black trunks and came out with brownish red ones which is very concerning. Using that much chlorine must be a health and safety issue?
The swimming pool at first glance looks shiny and new, but the stairs to the water flumes actually sways and I saw rusty bolts underneath the stairs! This spiral stair case has to be at least 20 feet in the air and when it swayed it made me feel a little sea sick (only used it twice).
Again don’t use the swimming pool toilets at Butlins, they were even worse in the pool than in the main resort! I wished I’d have gone in the swimming pool!!!! at least with all the chlorine my health wouldn’t have been at risk, broken mirrors and tiles so much dirt every where and over half of the taps in the sinks didn’t work.
The best part of our entire day at Butlins had to be the roughly two minute boat ride in the swimming pool, it’s a lot of fun, but it took an hour of queuing to use it, the stairs that you have to wait on are not supervised by Butlins staff and it’s dangerous with two lines on the stairs that are for two separate rides. I and others toppled backwards on the stairs a couple of times while we where waiting to move forward, this area is two tight to accommodate two lines of people waiting to use the boat and the bowl ride (not sure of it’s correct name), also there is a lot of pushing in and jostling.
When we went back to our locker we couldn’t get in it, the door was so badly bashed that it wouldn’t open! I couldn’t find a member of staff to help, when I did wangle the door free the only changing room cubicle that was free some inconsiderate b#stard had left a dirty nappy behind!
I don’t think Butlins gets the idea behind cleaning, your meant to remove filth not leave it and add more to it and hope no one notices!
After the swimming pool we’d had enough of Butlins so decided to head home. On our way out of Butlins we passed the sports area and I asked my youngest son if he would like to go to the sports hut and ask for a ball and we’d have a kick around before we left hopefully gaining one good memory of our nightmare day trip to Butlins. It was 5pm and Butlins isn’t supposed to close until 6pm, as he opened the door to the sports hut a pen came flying at my sons face, just missing him!!! The idiotic Butlins staff inside were throwing them about at each other! My son asked for a football and was told he’d have to come back tomorrow and they slammed the door on him!
At this point my youngest son burst into spontaneous tears, knowing there was nothing I could do to make his day better I started to cry alongside him, what should have been a great day out at Butlins, full of fun was completely ruined!
The only people who would see Butlins as a top resort must be the type of people who think hygiene is being licked clean by there dog. If you have standards steer clear of this expensive greasy spoon YUK!
Butlins is a disgrace to Skegness and the modern tourist industry and is not an holiday destination anyone with standards should visit in my opinion. When visiting Skegness take my advise and steer clear of Butlins, there are far better day trips to be had at Skegness.
It still upsets me thinking about our day trip to Butlins Skegness today (two years later!).
Skegness Attractions Star Rating for Butlins Skegness 0/10